here it is! MY BLOG! the interesting attempt i begin at putting my thoughts and feelings out there, really to appease myself and no one else really. not sure even really how to use this thing yet, but i'm happy to start. also not sure if anyone will ever "follow" me or my rantings, but it's mighty time for me to get out what goes on in this dreamy head of mine, once and for all! at least, that's what i'm hoping will help me to learn myself alittle better. i decided on the name GATORBUGG since that's what i call my little boy, gladen. it has two g's because that was all that blogger would let me use. =)
i'll just start by saying that i know this will be therapeutic because this age....the mighty age of 25 has been mighty good for me. you would think that having begun a career, served a mission, or had a child, i would have already had my "aha! year". the year where you really "search deep" and "learn who i am". (i'm strangely enthusiastic with the parenthesis for some reason) but nope! its has been 25! and its been a good year. i still have another month left with this number, than i head into my 2nd quarter of a century years, but i'm learning ALOT about who i am even in this very instant.
i am a very emotional, sympathedic, worry wartish, people pleasing, day dreamer type of woman. most that know me well will attest to all of this. but knowing this about myself always leaves me wondering, "am i ok with this, or do i want to be different?" most of the time i'm not ok with it. but then other times it think "well yeah i am, i don't know want to care about what anyone thinks ANYMORE!''........although, thats really only maybe 23% of the time. i guess thats why i have a this blog now. like i said, im not doing it for anyone else, but myself. i don't mind sharing it, but thats the truth of the matter. i hope in this next year i'll be able to really be comfortable in my own skin. i'll stop worrying all the time. i'll be more honest with myself and others. i'll think of others more, and above all else- i'll be content with my entire life.
now, i would only hope that nothing in this is portraying a depressed or insecure person. although i have insecurities, as we all do, (ok at least, most women do) i am well aware of the blessed life i have, and the unbelievable husband and son i some how achieved. i do love myself, and them and my amazing family-parents, siblings and sibling in laws. life is good, im just ready to know it alittle better. i know it will make me a better person, wife and mama.